Sigh

 I.... you treat me so well, but it doesn’t feel right. I’ve been so irritated and annoyed with everything. I don’t think I want to date anymore. Maybe mess around. I don’t know if I want kids anymore either, but I know I want malamutes, they just make everything better. I don’t want to really bother with others accepting me or Cami, it’s just not something that.... I really want to gamble on. If someone else’s dog doesn’t get along with mine, I don’t care to be a part of it tbh. My dog is my baby and my baby comes before everyone else. 

I wonder if I’m actually happy or if I’m happy with all the things that happen around me. I feel like I don’t need to date someone for me to do fun stuff with them. I’m in indecision. I don’t really deserve any of this stuff since I didn’t put effort into it. 

Nope

Thought I’d play league today cuz I’ve been really wanting to play it. So depressing. Even the toxic pieces of shit that we all reported had each other and I’m just alone. I miss league but I feel like I can’t play it anymore. It hurts so bad. Time to cry myself to sleep and hope I stay asleep. In one way or both. Friends are too busy with games even when I msg them. I’m feeling worse and worse. 

...falling asleep. Please let me sleep tonight without nightmares. I wish doggo would cuddle me to sleep. Doggo makes everything better. Still haven’t gotten my stupid monsters in sw event. Pretty sure I’m just not supposed to get either of the mons I want. Ah well, rip. I might just quit everything. New anime came out. We were supposed to watch it together. So much for that. Maybe I’ll just stop watching that too. Maybe I’ll just stop doing anything.