Please....

We're going to find out next week whether we got the apartment or not. I... I'm worried. It's 3:17am right now and I'm laying in bed crying. It hurts so much to be away from you. Since you've been here, I've made some of the shittiest mistakes and decisions that I have in a while. You've been trying so hard to be better and more understanding.... So why do I give up so much faster now? I want to be with you..... For good. I want to be the only girl you notice and the only girl you look at. I want to be that person you can trust and lean on. I.... I REALLY don't deserve it though. After all the shit you've been through with me, you forgave me. It bothers me because I don't understand or know why. How can you even put up with me? I want to hold you again.... Fall asleep in your arms, wake up and hug you before you wake up. I want to have our usual tickling wars till we can't breathe. I wonder why I forget all the good stuff and times we've had when we fight. It's definitely worth fighting for. Why am I being an idiot. Why does it hurt so much when you're away. I miss you.... I love you.... Please.... Let us get that apartment, so we can be together again....happy....