I'll start it from the most recent to the one furthest away.
03/11/2013
Yesterday was a very interesting day. I finally picked up my tablet for the first time in a very long time. I kept hearing amazing things about Paint Tool Sai and I saw my best friend use it, as well as a now-former friend of mine. It looked better than the Photoshop CS5 I have, so I decided to get it and give it a try. My best friend warned me that it's confusing when you first pick it up but that you get used to it. Playing around with the settings and adding some more brushes yesterday was so fun. I think that I'll actually enjoy drawing once again. I'm very glad and actually quite happy with my life right now. Being drama and stress free is amazing.
A friend of mine has been very moody, snappy and bitchy lately, so a point that I didn't really even want to talk to her anymore. So when I had messaged her yesterday and she told me that "she doesn't want to deal with being my friend anymore", I really could have cared less and was actually kinda happy. As mean as it sounds, I was the one to finally just not give a single fuck. There comes a point where you just don't want to deal with it and rudeness, amongst other things.
For once, I don't feel like I'm making a mistake, which usually means that I'm making the right choice. I might have made some stupid decisions but at least I'm finally fixing them and doing the right thing. At least I've never done anything legal wrong, only messed up my college career a bit. I'll still be going back to college starting summer, just have to pay out of pocket for the 2 summer classes. Then I can get my scholarships back and everything will be mostly back to normal.
Conclusion: Being busy with real life issues makes you disregard the bullshit that needs to be disregarded and care more about the things that really matter in life.
03/08/2013
It's been such a slow day....it literally feels like it's just....dragging on and on and on... like holy shit. xD
03/07/2013 8:38am
I'm glad to be back to work and not be sitting and laying around my house, not doing anything but sleeping. I sometimes feel useless due to me not really being able to do anything but answering calls, transferring and maybe sometimes sorting and filing. I'm also worried and mad. Mad that I would get sick at a job that I'm only a temp at, that can harm me getting the job permanently. For once, or twice, in my wholy life I actually have a job that I really like and feel comfortable doing. The kind of job that I can say "It's mine" or "This job is for me". I'm mad because for once in my life I wanted to go to work and couldn't because of my body freaking out on me. Hopefully the doctor will be able to tell me what's wrong and maybe I can start fixing myself and the things wrong with me, little by little. Maybe someday I'll even be well enough to go hiking, mountain climbing, and some other sports. I wish I could go run again the most. Wit hthe stress fractures I'll probably never be able to run again without pain. As I'm sitting here waiting for the calls to come in, I keep spacing in and out, the words all becoming a blur. Once you find something you really like, it's always hard to think of what will happen when the time runs out and it ends. The officers I work with and everyone else is great. They're all so helpfull and understanding, but stern when they need to be with the inmates. It makes me feel as if the world isn't only full of bad things happening in them and around me. That there's still kind and caring people out there. It's a matter of finding them or running into them. I'm just so very glad and fortunate that, be it fate or luck, brought me here, I'm so thankful.
